A good speaker or performer dominates his or her audience with: authority, skill, talent, knowledge, poise, class, flair, humor, good gestures and postures, voice, diction, presence, facial expressions, command of the stage, technical ability, etc. A good metaphor is to imagine a speaker as the host of a dinner party in their own home; all that happens is under his or her watch. It can be done effortlessly because it is well understood or with much anxiety if not understood and managed properly.
A host welcomes, greets, makes comfortable, organizes, orchestrates, takes charge, designs, commands attention, makes sure all goes well, entertains, directs, acknowledges, educates, serves, etc. A host has a “natural eye” on everything. Being the master of ceremony or the orchestra conductor is essentially what a good communicator, speaker or performer does in the background of his or her presentation or speech. The same goes for high-stake communication situations and one-on-one negotiations.
The more you are willing to accept this role or role-playing model, the more comfortable and confident you will become; so much in life is reliant on good casting as in knowing what “role” you are playing and embodying. If you adopt the “behavior of success”, it will naturally generate the platform for success to manifest. It is behavior that impacts first—words second!
It is the role of the speaker and communicator to make an audience feel safe and comfortable, not the reverse! The more you realize the passive role your audience plays, the more you will develop sympathy and compassion for them. All audiences secretly hope that the show, the act, speech, meeting or presentation will be great success. For instance, it never feels good to see a skater fall on the ice during a number.
All you have to do is to be willing to lead the way intentionally.