Are You Paying Attention to the Background Frequency from which you Engage Others?

Self-expression always comes with the signature of the person speaking and communicating. It’s very much like signing our name to a contract. To a large extent it also contains the spirit, personality and passion of the person expressing. The impact is not just seen; it is felt. Of course this applies to both good and poor communicating.

The following are prisms, paradigms and filters, which carry much influence and literally determine the qualities of our interactions. They need to be identified and honed if we are to be successful at getting our messages across.

Intellectually, we communicate through our perspectives, thoughts, conceptualizing, imagery, beliefs, comparisons, measurements, opinions and ideas.

Emotionally, we communicate through these ranges: Sadness-Pain-Hope-Desire-Passion-Need-Guilt-Joy-Innocence-Love-Fear-Frustration-Anger-Rage, and all their countless derivatives, such as love of life, love of experiencing, love of God, love of humanity, love of the self, love of loving, love of the body, etc.

Physically, we communicate through our senses: touch, smell, sound, taste, seeing and many more sensations and sophisticated modalities such as gut instinct, intuition, sixth sense, feeling of weight, direction, balance, sense of well-being or not, like or dislike, timing, silence, pain, pleasure, etc.

In addition, we communicate through role-playing and archetypes such as mother, father, boss, client, patient, victim, etc. We also role-play our cultural heritage, our national heritage, our cultural taboos, do’s and don’ts, differences, etc. We also express through our unique experience and perspective of our world, what, where, when and with whom it is happening.

Other important personal and cultural structures and their binaries that act as powerful prisms are: power struggles, competitiveness, jealousy, win-lose, win-win, strategic versus receptive, closed or open, control, who’s on top, manipulation, openness, trust, giving, taking, attack, patronizing, oppression, selfishness, independence, liberation, want, need, possibility, projection, admiration, recognition, sharing, support, empowerment, honesty, lying, deception, resistance, acceptance, surrender, courage, ignorance, intelligence, etc.

All role-playing, emotional attitudes and feelings act together in unison and at various intensities. Spiritually, we communicate through love, grace, God, energy, frequencies, awe, oneness, silence, contemplation, rituals, mythology, prayer, openness, surrender, etc. To give an example, think of a preacher who speaks to our hearts and souls.

Make it a point to pick and choose the background frequencies from which you will engage anyone. It can be fun and highly creative. It is the attention you place on these choices that will demonstrate sophistication and confidence.

Posted in 12 Keys to Great Speaking | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Great Speaker Is First and Foremost a Great Host.

 Speakers, orators, presenters, musicians, singers, actors, etc., are all required to take on an “active and dominant” role in order to be believable and demonstrate credibility. Taking charge physically, emotionally and of course technically is a must.

A good speaker or performer dominates his or her audience with: authority, skill, talent, knowledge, poise, class, flair, humor, good gestures and postures, voice, diction, presence, facial expressions, command of the stage, technical ability, etc. A good metaphor is to imagine a speaker as the host of a dinner party in their own home; all that happens is under his or her watch. It can be done effortlessly because it is well understood or with much anxiety if not understood and managed properly.

A host welcomes, greets, makes comfortable, organizes, orchestrates, takes charge, designs, commands attention, makes sure all goes well, entertains, directs, acknowledges, educates, serves, etc. A host has a “natural eye” on everything. Being the master of ceremony or the orchestra conductor is essentially what a good communicator, speaker or performer does in the background of his or her presentation or speech. The same goes for high-stake communication situations and one-on-one negotiations.

The more you are willing to accept this role or role-playing model, the more comfortable and confident you will become; so much in life is reliant on good casting as in knowing what “role” you are playing and embodying. If you adopt the “behavior of success”, it will naturally generate the platform for success to manifest. It is behavior that impacts first—words second!

It is the role of the speaker and communicator to make an audience feel safe and comfortable, not the reverse! The more you realize the passive role your audience plays, the more you will develop sympathy and compassion for them. All audiences secretly hope that the show, the act, speech, meeting or presentation will be great success. For instance, it never feels good to see a skater fall on the ice during a number.

All you have to do is to be willing to lead the way intentionally.

Posted in 12 Keys to Great Speaking | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

On Mind Serving the WRONG MASTER

Existential angst is such an essential component to growth and development. Being human is not exactly a walk in the park by any stretch of the imagination. We chew on our internal psychological suffering like we chew on a piece of gum without even noticing. By the time we get out of high school, the flavor is gone but we’re still chewing.

art-of-seeing-3

I’d like to assert that the parts of us that hurt are actually memories frozen in time. Eckhart Tolle calls it the pain-body. How could we give them a second though after all? Whether traumatic, benign or pleasurable, every single moment of our lives is being recorded by the mind. It is also measured, compared and stored or filed. My understanding of human suffering is that the reason we keep thinking about the same pain or regret scenarios is that they are frozen memories.

At the time of the event or incident, energy was blocked as the mind tried to protect us from feeling the pain of a circumstance I.E. accident, break-up, the death of someone, a radical change, abuse, you name it…the memory even though it is unconscious (that is unconscious to our conscious mind) is now stored in full Technicolor with all the feelings, sensations, thoughts, etc. associated with it.

In acting we call waking up these types of frozen memories “emotional triggers” as part of the creative work we do on “emotional memory work” elaborated by Stanislavsky and then further explored by Lee Strasberg at the famous Actor’s Studio. I had the good fortune of being made an “Honorary Member” in 1981, which allowed me to work with studio members on these powerful “emotional triggers” and always be astonished at how much frozen pain is stored in the body—suppressed by the mind.

Anyone can begin a process of slowly waking up these frozen memories gently and reminding them they don’t have to be stuck in that frozen state anymore. It is very much like saying: “things have moved on long ago, it’s time to wake up, shake the dust and be okay again”. It was only a moment in time that got frozen long ago like a mammoth in arctic ice. No need to scare these parts of you or they will feel embarrassed for not knowing they were in a frozen state for so long. Give them time to reintegrate into you. All they want is to find their place and fade away. In acting work, we creatively collect them for the purpose of getting in touch with our pain-body and its stored riches. We do so “creatively”, which means we have a license to get into the pain with the express understanding that we will get out of the pain with a valid return ticket.

HAS_LOGO_reworkedIn the acting world, we re-contextualize our painful memories for the benefit of our audience. Hence why acting is NOT therapy but has enormous therapeutic by-products.

So, how do you begin an understanding of what mind has done with the painful memories of the past? Without becoming a professional actor of course!

First, know that it is only the mind that is not educated, clean and not cleansed. Mind has to be refocused, hence why a great acting teacher always bothers to educate you thoroughly about the mind before you plunge into serious emotional work. Otherwise it can be devastating and very unproductive as the actor will fall apart emotionally with no clue as to get him- or herself back on track

Second, know and appreciate that your mind does everything it its power to keep these frozen memories hidden. It does it for two reasons: one, because mind likes control and two, it cannot control your state of being unless it has a leverage mechanism in place to pressure you to give up control. Thus, by keeping you “in the dark” about your painful memories, it maintains control and the result is that energy is kept frozen and your self-expression really suffers as well. It is the “emotional release” that frees up the past and reinstates a natural flow of energy in places where it was frozen prior. Frozen feelings are our “true and authentic” feelings but they are being guarded and protected by our ego-mind. Hence, why it is a matter of education first and release second.

Mind always comes up with reasons and interpretations as to why things happened or did not happen the way they were supposed to in our past. Most of them are false interpretations to keep us in the dark and for the mind to keep the control. Remember that mind is not educated at this point.

Therefore, love and truth unnaturally fly below the radar of mind’s follies and false interpretations. It’s admittedly really difficult to see or catch, but very doable if you are willing. You just need a bit of honesty and a lot of practice.

Mind without education, without direction and without the right focus will wreak havoc in a person’s life, tearing it apart, though seemingly, it looks and feels real and even normal. This is where all useless suffering originates in my view. Hence, why a rigorous acting training can do wonders to help someone get in touch with their true feelings and tap into an inner depth unavailable prior.

As a valid point, though perhaps metaphorical, Jesus saw suffering so clearly back in his day. He was a true clairvoyant in my view, without bringing Christianity into focus. Living free is about seeing the beauty that is available below the fumes, below the darkness and below the madness of mind on insisting in keeping control. It is all a matter of focus as in the type of focus that keeps you free of the past by releasing its energetic charges on your life.

One must get over one’s mind to be free. Mind only knows how to create three-dimensional views and frame what it sees out of ancestral habit.

Mind is not mad or insane as a fact, it is only mad when it is focused on the wrong things, only then is it mad. Most people have no idea their minds are focusing on the wrong things. But, whatever you focus on, tends to own you and keep you prisoner. Mind is spectacularly creative if it focuses on the right things, things outside of yourself that have nothing to do with you, your life or your relationships, unless it is the beauty of those relationships it is focusing on and measuring. The past obviously is often about you as the main character so when the mind is focused on your past, it keeps on bringing painful memories while keeping them frozen.

In our work, past thoughts and concepts are three-dimensional ghosts and they need to be treated as such. The body is the truth as far as the natural part of us. This is where the surrender has to go. It takes time to realize the body is always willing to experience life fully.

Mind is run by focus regardless of whether it is right for you or not. Body is run by what is right for you and it does not need the mind to okay it. The body is the life, the mind is a construct that shares its take on life—its view. Body is pure intelligence and pure instincts and intuition, something most people have swapped for an hyperactive mind that never stops and drives them nuts in spite of therapy, yoga, trips to India, drugs, and the other usual escape suspects.

Mind is not really connected to life. It filters life abstractly. It is the view NOT life itself. Mind is a spectator first and when surrendered to life, it finds its right view. We have spent 25 years teaching realignment through instincts and intelligence.

The wrong focuses and views will make anyone so profoundly unhappy because it appears as a world of reality. People are just equipped to deny pain. When you begin to scratch the surface, it’s all there.

Very few people have a perspective on their minds and its views and contents. They think it’s THEM doing the thinking. What a joke! It is the relationship you have to your mind’s content that matters. The more healthy you are the more visible it is to you that you have a relationship to your mind; the other side is we are trapped in the mind’s contents with all its warped interpretations and no way out.

Performance Impact Therapy is about freeing the mind not getting rid of the mind so as to create more ease, authenticity and impactful satisfying living.

Eric Stone

Posted in Reflections on Empowerment | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Farmer’s Wife Life Is For ME!

I find it absolutely amazing that for over a year I have been saying to my husband that all I want is a simple life with him. I started saying this back when we were in the Los Angeles area where the energy is very much about how busy you are and how cool you are. If you are not Brad or Angelina you don’t count. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to stand in life at the grocery store 2016-01-20-17.21.37and not have to look at Kim Kardashian’s face or butt on every magazine. She is not the woman I want to be looking at. It took a recent trip back to Los Angeles to really see and feel how sensitive we were to this environment and have a full-blown realization of why we needed to leave. You see we were living what we thought was a simple life but far away from the pulse of how simple our hearts were longing for.

2016-01-13-20.48.31

The atmosphere here at the farm has been this beautiful and healing atmosphere to shed a life that I had lead my whole life so far away from myself. I never dreamt I would find the key to unlock my heart on a farm in France! It’s not a farm full of animals but rather an old, country French farmhouse where we actively continue to work creatively with our clients and focus on our company. There is something so healing to my heart with each Bonjour that nobody forgets to say as you enter a shop or pass each other while walking on a country road.

I am finally of the road to discover my life as an individual. After years of being raised to let everyone else’s moods, desires and opinions mold and shape me. I now have this most precious opportunity to step into the life I have held secretly in my heart all these years.

As serendipity or life would have it, I am finding my true path on a farm in France. 2016-01-23-15.15.15I had a dream the other night and the message I woke up with is that happiness is definitely a choice; you just need to choose to be YOU!

I am growing my new reality from where I belong, with my beautiful husband and redefining and rewriting the script of my life. I was sharing with Eric the other morning while we were having le café in bed that sometimes I feel sad about the years that I spent giving my power away and caring so much more about what other people think that I had no idea who I was. It’s time to walk away from those old wounds and turn my mistakes into opportunities and a heart full of gratitude.

Like my husband shared with me the other day how amazing it is to him that in the world of science mistakes are celebrated as they2016-01-22-13.50.44 lead that much closer to an original discovery! What I have discovered is it’s the farmer’s wife life that is for me.

Posted in Our Life in France | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Power of Belonging: Don’t You Dare Go Anywhere Without Your Credibility!

One of the most potent “credibility builders” is our sense of belonging.  What is that? Well, glad that you asked…To belong is the ability and capacity to embody or manifest in physical form without apology. There is so much apology in the way that we behave with others and in the world that you’d think apology is where we actually live.

Every day, we typically embody physical traits as well as other qualities such as mental, emotional and spiritual attitudes. Our sense of belonging is what is most visible to others on first approach…Oh boy do we take that for granted! It literally sets the tone for what follows regardless of what other unique credibility elements are at play, such as style, poise, voice tone, speaking, intention, dress, etc.  In spite of our deeply engrained spiritual beliefs, we collectively trust what we can see. Show me and I’ll believe it kind of engrained.

188-Erotica_2013

In my experience, a lack of confidence is mainly rooted in our early misadventures in belonging.  I don’t belong, I don’t fit in, I don’t get it, I don’t understand, I am not worthy, I am not able, I don’t know, etc., can be quite traumatic and devastating, yet honest missteps in belonging. As we face public speaking or challenging communication situations, these early memories creep back up into our consciousness, and often end up running the show.

Belonging and approval are intimately connected.  In public, if you belong to your physical and emotional self, you will not seek approval as a validation process.  Your performance no longer depends on it!  Conversely, our need for approval increases as our sense of belonging decreases.  It usually starts in the body and expresses itself as a loss of: balance, gravity, coordination, breathing, postures, gestures, movement, voice tone, stance, attitude, clarity, emotional strength, actions and intentions, heart, presence, space, use of objects, etc.  By re-embodying these physical elements first, you begin restoring your sense of belonging. It works every time!

Our sense of belonging orchestrates most of the affect we have on others.  Within more embodied communication models, we learn to become accountable for how we are received by others through our sense of belonging.  It magically puts everyone at ease.  It is our reliable sense of belonging that allows us to develop a solid technique for being in relationship and communicating with well-earned confidence.

Be yourself so you can love yourself!

Eric Stone

Posted in 12 Keys to Great Speaking | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

For many years, at least a decade now I have held the desire in my heart to meet my husband, move to another country and learn a new language. One never knows where these personal desires come from only that they blossom in the heart and stay there even in the face of no evidence of any of it ever happening.

Last year I met my dream husband. He had just come home from a trip to France where he is originally from and was on his way to do his laundry, jet lagged and shirtless. I had just moved into the house next door in Topanga Canyon just south of Malibu and the laundry machine for both our properties was under the house I was now living in.

Seven months later we were married on the balcony WeddingBest2where we met and four months later we went on our honeymoon to live in our house in Provence for three weeks. I cried when we left our home to come back to California and we were only back a week before discussing going straight back for another three weeks while our house was still open before having renters come in for the fall and winter. The next words that came out of my mouth were, “don’t take me back to France only to bring me back here.” I said those words without thinking but in the following two weeks we applied for my Visa, packed our things, shipped our car and moved to France!

My Beautiful Wife Amy so wonderfulWe moved to France knowing our house would not be available to live in until the spring and bonjour was the extent of my French! So the journey began in Topanga but what I am struck by is realizing why I held this dream in my heart all these years and the journey to myself that would begin to flower.

Twenty years ago, when my three children were very young, the two boys still in diapers, my husband came out of the closet and we divorced. The whole decade we were together I felt there was something wrong with me! Now I am married to a beautiful, intelligent man who celebrates my liberation and creative voice so I have decided to step out of the closet of my own!

Amy Stone

Posted on by Eric and Amy Stone | 1 Comment

The Longest Journey I Ever Took Was from My Head to My Heart

Eric and I have been back in France for 11 days now after our trip to Los Angeles to get my Visa so I can stay and live in France. Moving to France was the best thing I have ever done for my heart, besides marrying my husband of course. My Darling has encouraged me to share what is happening to my heart on this healing journey in France.

Happiness1

I feel like I have bottled up my true self-expression for so long and experienced so much struggle on the material plane in Los Angeles and also raising the kids.  I knew in my heart for years I needed to meet my husband and also the experience of being in another country where I feel people are far more real and live closer to the natural rhythms of life. All these years I had no idea why this was the particular dream I held onto in my heart but now that I am married to my Beloved and living in France I am beginning to see why.  My heart sings at the sight of a field of cows, a herd of goats grazing, 2016-01-17 15.56.38stone houses and old men sitting on the park bench all afternoon sharing their stories and experiences and talking about the world in this beautiful language that I don’t yet understand. Also, watching couples, families and friends relax at the dinner table for hours after the meal and the wine are gone. The day of everyone jumping up from the table after gobbling their food and off to their own agendas with little or no connection was something my soul could not take anymore.

2015-12-19 11.23.12

My feeling is that I have been just holding it together and now cracking wide open in this new space of taking time, feeling, being with my husband, talking with my husband and being immensely interested in every simple aspect life has to offer. We felt bottled up in the States and completely confined with nowhere to nurture our expression anymore. It dried up and withered away in the California and we had to get to France to begin to truly experience the fragrance of life and our marriage.

One thing that Eric has helped me to begin to see how little I have shared about myself with my family. That I hide myself and sell this self that has been outdated for decades. I sell myself as this good Christian girl to my original family when deep down I am far more interested in Jesus as the heretic that he was than the whole “born again” thing that it has in my opinion diluted itself down to but I go along with them never risking judgment or criticism.

I have always admire strong women who are full of self confidence and powerful who seemingly did not need others approval to do or say anything. 2015-11-22 14.50.33Now of course I know intellectually that I don’t need others approval to live my life and to think what I think and to say what is real. However, there is a big difference between saying you don’t need anyone’s approval and actually living with the attitude and knowing this and giving up the fear and the habit of decades of being afraid.

You know when you are young and living in your own family you do not (well, at least I didn’t) tell myself wow, there is a lot of dysfunction going on here. Why am I feeling responsible for my Mother’s moods and my deaf sister’s outbursts of anger? Why is the tension so high between Mom and Dad and how come they obviously don’t even like each other but when Sunday comes it’s let’s all get in the car and go to Church where we will hear the good news of Jesus and how much love is supposed to be there but when we get back in the car it’s the same old chilly atmosphere of no love and no respect? It was very confusing to me.

I started at a very early age to bury who was in my heart to be. I quit doing things that I was good at in favor of spending time with people who were not good for me but needing their approval anyway. Running from challenges from fear of failure and playing it safe. Checking out with pot and parties again with the company of “friends” who wanted to control, manipulate and bully me but hey, it was better than being at home with the chilly atmosphere and feeling responsible for my sister’s moods or wondering why Mom was upset or tired and Dad was gone somewhere.

Posted in Our Life in France | Leave a comment

The Hidden Language of the Breath by Eric Stone

The Hidden Language of the Breath

An essay in intuitive awareness and direct experience

Eric Stone © July 16, 2013

Stress and dissatisfaction possibly represent the deepest ancestral binary pattern that undermines human health, spirit and the possibility of fulfillment on this existential plane.

Stress, dissatisfaction and disappointment are typically minimized and ignored for being part of life. They are scarcely understood in the context of health, creativity, self-expression or wellbeing. After all, stress is viewed and accepted as a modern collective phenomenon. Very much like the common cold, it travels incognito. Unrecognized for anyone to do anything about it, stress remains the usual underground suspect. Not much we can do but accept it and continue taking our vitamins and Yoga classes.

Yet, its ravages are felt at the very core of our physical, emotional and mental states. Stress is not just a collective phenomenon; it is the very atmosphere and frequency we cultivate and facilitate—day in and day out without even batting an eyelash. Why is it so easy for stress to go under the radar?

Essentially and at collective unconscious levels, stress is connected to a deep-seated inability to refrain ourselves from reacting to life’s challenges and its resulting fears. It is not difficult to see that the average response to stress is either to get stuck in various highs and lows of depression and inaction or to simply never be able to sit still in a socially acceptable mode of avoidance. Human beings run around in various tolerable forms of restless frenzies and addictions with few exceptions. We are so used to it that it has become the “business as usual” topography of our existence.

Beneath the surface of our technological triumphs, stress is a silent killer, a strange by-product of our evolution and a true manifestation of our disconnection from nature and ourselves. What an irony! Stress can positively be seen as an addiction to rushing; it literally conceals our real and natural self. When we rush, we skip essential colors, experiences and happenings and the price we pay is insanely high. We push the river for no authentic gain and do not complete things, from relationships to projects and goals. We speed through life and then we die. In all areas of life, stress steals the potential for aliveness, authenticity and relatedness. It’s a silent epidemic that can only be addressed one person at a time so we can each regain a genuine sense of purpose and fulfillment. A life without stress is a Godly gift and there is a way out.

Shallow breathing is at the root of stress and dissatisfaction. Put another way, stress is a direct manifestation of shallow breathing. On a much more sober and lugubrious note, stress is the language of dying. Arguably, there is no greater fear than the fear of death and stress is intimately connected to it. In a strange and yet profound way, shallow breathing is the hidden language of death just as much as deep breathing is the hidden language of life and its powerful background frequency.

There is no such thing as good stress, whether physical, emotional or mental. Analogously, there is no such thing as a good heart attack or a good cancer.

Breath is the great source of life on earth and correct breathing is a testament to our aliveness and self-expression as a civilized species. Children experience it for a brief time before the conditioning field of stress and pressure sets in. In my humble view, breathing is synonymous to sacred life—a sort of reconnection to natural genius, common-sense wisdom and playful interacting.

To live is to breathe and when you breathe deep inside bellow your belly button, you automatically release stress by invited breath back into your being. For me, breathing is categorically the language of creative living.

I find it curious and almost shocking that most people don’t breathe well. For instance, public speaking is a great fear because what gets activated when we speak publicly is our inability to face our fears through proper breathing; all those eyes on us put the finger on the very thing we are so used to take for granted, hide or do not demonstrate properly: breathe while facing our fears without flinching. Our inability to breathe becomes our inability to relate.

Our modern world is filled with ancient and new age wisdom. Lao-Tzu, Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Hinduism, Islam, the Kabala, the book of the I Ching and Astrology, all the great masters, prophets, saints, gurus, priests, poets and philosophers, in one form or another, speak of love, surrender and the pure enjoyment of our illusory or passing existence. So many ancient rituals were rooted in dance and song, which placed worshipers in direct contact with breath.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. ~ Helen Keller.

Proper breathing is the formidable catalyst and proper breathing is a highly individual affair. Proper means deeper breathing, all the way to your perineum, which is the region of the body inferior to the pelvic diaphragm and between the legs. When we breathe deeper we breathe away from the mind, which provides astounding relaxation. It gives birth to the possibility of unclouded thinking and emotional clarity. There is massive agreement that love is essential in life and there are so many types of love as well as so many ways to express them. It’s quasi endless. What they all have in common is breathing, the main synergist that goes unnoticed. I’d like you to ponder that when we stop breathing we stop giving.

Our ignorance of the laws of nature is quite staggering, yet curiously innocent. How dependent we are on breathing without knowing giving it our attention—a natural dependence without co-dependency. All worthwhile acts begin and end in our ability to get in touch with our breath. I do not believe that we are here to “think” our way through life nor can we thrive through thoughts alone. We’re here to “breathe” our way through life and to experience it physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Breathing deepens the dialectic with our true nature. Yet, why is it that we have to constantly be reminded?

The deeper you breathe the more you feel. The less you breathe the less you feel and feeling alive and well is everything, is it not? It is hardly known nor examined that we breathe in order to feel, understand, integrate, impact, sense, share, support, empower, generate and most important re-generate so we can gain clarity. Every generative or creative act requires re-generation. Sleep is re-generative; so is breathing. Breathing in creates while breathing out evacuates.

We become sensitive through breathing; it opens up the pathways to higher consciousness and the art of presence. For example, thinking that is formatted by breathing is relaxed and deep; but more important clear and knowing. Clarity is an outcome of deep breathing so is presence and intuition.

In addition, my view is that the language of the breath is the language of truth and honesty. Do not trust someone who doesn’t breathe. Not because you can’t trust them but because they cannot trust themselves, until they start breathing and understand the meaning of it.

Breath has the unusual gift of formatting rhythm, which in turn formats the soulful experiencing of our every thought, feeling and action. There is no way out of this existential truth. Whether we do it unconsciously and with talent or we do through a re-learning process, breathing takes us out of stress and anxiety and into artful appreciation of what it is to be alive.

One cannot experience love for oneself, others and humanity at large, until one starts giving breathing the most important place in one’s quest for fulfillment. When I breathe in a shallow way I’m busy dying; I am subsequently not busy living and generating my true purpose and contributing my wisdom. The atmospheres I create around me are all sourced in the quality of my breathing. I am tempted to say that breathing is a creative attitude and pro-life art form, which generate health and satisfaction impossible to create outside of our breathing.

The more alive, creative and self-expressed you are; the more you breathe. Anxiety, angst, depression settle when one stops breathing. Therefore, the seat of our creativity is lodged deep inside our breathing. Being begins in the breath not in a philosophical or intellectual concept. To me, a dying spirit is a dying breath, as spirit needs air to recognize itself. Thinking that occurs out of breathing is thinking I can trust.

To my knowledge, breath is not regarded enough as a doorway to health, vitality and happiness. Breathing is our true inner language and our intimate connection to being. It is also the language of playfulness and the sacred passage to creativity. There isn’t a single moment where breath does not take an essential role in the articulation of our thoughts, ideas and actions. The more breath is fully experienced, the more one can slide through life with grace.

I view life and the universe as a beautiful cosmic dance and its colorful expressions transform almost every instant. The breath is the true meter of this extraordinary cosmic dance. Breathing can literally change what we are experiencing into something we can sculpt at will. Our first breath sets the tone for our entire magnificent journey on this earth and our last one will as well, whatever the next destination.

Don’t remain a prisoner of stress; reclaim your life, one breath at a time!


 

Posted in Performance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How to Train CEO’s, Executives & Business professionals

Training CEO’s and Executives

In an atmosphere of globalization, companies large and small face challenging leadership and creative issues both at home and abroad. The training and professional empowerment of executives is increasingly becoming a fundamental strategic issue. Leadership, accountability, creativity, innovation, entrepreneurial spirit, personal power, open-mindedness, inspiration, motivation, and so on…have become the “must” requirements of the new century. These skills account for much of a company’s success.
We know things are changing but adapting to changes and thinking in action are acquired skill not just talents. We offer tailored programs with enough flexibility to fit your needs. See palette of programs and benefits.

Training Individuals

Think of a coach as an expert problem solver. All problems are sleeping solutions. By asking the right questions and looking where an individual hasn’t looked before! It begins with your specific situation. The first question I ask is: what professional situation or circumstance needs a solution? You want to get better at something that will make a difference for you, either with your confidence, effectiveness or financially, personally and professionally. So, you are seeking help. See a list of professional situations we offer “Real Solutions” for… Click here.

 

My goal is to help clients leverage the potential energies within themselves and their organization. Leaders understand the need to use their skills to guide others, achieve stretched goals, demonstrate accountability, and results. We train individuals to become competent and credible communicators and speakers. The by-products are increased self-knowledge, awareness, confidence, personal growth, presence, vitality, productivity, credibility, and personal power.

 


 

Training Corporate Teams

 

We offer step-by-step coaching and empowerment, which deliver the necessary access to effective communication, results, personal power, and emotional intelligence. Click here for a complete list of situations we train for. The strength of any company is its people. By drawing key relationships between creativity and productivity, self-expression and success, our programs become “must do” programs for any company genuinely committed to the aliveness and well-being of its people. A happy creative, self-expressed, and communicative individual is the key to successful enterprise.
We use relaxation techniques, exercises, mocks, solo work, camera work and interesting inquiries into the nature of communication, self-expression, physical & emotional awareness, as it relates to public appearances and productivity.

Dynamics are usually un-noticed and un-exploited.

  • Behavior dynamics such as body language and “emotional” attitudes
  • Role playing dynamics
  • Awareness of the self in public and in communication situations
  • Presence & creative responses to everyday challenges

“I am very much a target-oriented coach empowering the purpose of the communicator at all levels. By focusing on the “public persona” rather than the “private person”, it becomes instantly clear what aspects of public speaking and communication to focus on to generate confidence.   ~Eric Stone

 

 

Posted in Communication | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking

What can you do when you are afraid to speak in front of a group and on top of this when your boss is sitting front row? Most people are terrified to speak in public, regardless of who is in the audience. Jerry Seinfeld made the joke that at funerals, most people would rather be in the coffin that giving a speech in front of the gathered crowd.

What do you do when you have to present or give a speech anyway? Do you run to the bathroom? Find the nearest exit? Call your mom? Have yourself arrested? Take a shot of Whiskey? See the audience naked? (That might scare you even more in some cases depending on who is in the audience at that time.) No, none of the above is recommended to actually attempt at resolving the issue.

Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist Sigmund Freud said that anxiety produces repression. He saw anxiety as a repressive mechanism that is caused by the projection of a past trauma onto a current situation. When we are scared and there is no “actual” physical danger, we are in a state of projection. It means we are “checked out” and reliving some past event. So when we are afraid to speak publicly and a boss or someone important to us is present, we subconsciously project onto them. We objectify them or the situation. We are projecting in the future, what we believe is the worst thing that could ever happen or has happened to us earlier in life. Our mind is having a field day of fear. Common remedies for fear of public speaking include drinking beforehand or imagining that the audience is naked. Here are techniques that work:

  • Check back in to the moment. Your anxiety took you on a trip to the past or the future, and now it’s time to come back to the moment. Shake hands with some before you begin your speech. Touch objects such as furniture, the podium, anything that belongs to the physical world. The physical world is now, and that’s why it brings us out of the past and anchors our performances. Gravity and breathing are your two best friends when speaking. Feel the weight of your body, breathe deeply several times.
  • Acknowledge the person who makes you anxious. Take a moment to publicly acknowledge the person to demystify him or her for the time being. You can go as far as sharing a story or your feelings about them. If you do it openly and from the heart, you’ll be fine. Begin your talk by introducing them. The introduction shows that you’re in control.
  • Express your intention for the speech. Intention acts as the powerful backbone of your presentations and speeches, giving a sense of purpose and direction. An intention is the wish that you mean to carry out. Express your intention with a verb followed by an adverb. To introduce myself clearly. To acknowledge the audience authentically. To present the agenda slowly. To share my knowledge humbly. To connect with the audience warmly…etc.

By confronting what confronts us, we make it disappear. We break the dynamics that do not empower us. Use your speech to fill the space of the room with life, intention and self-expression. The courage to speak gives us wings.

Posted in Fear of Public Speaking | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment